Tuesday, October 10, 2006

today's guest haiku

Here's today's guest haiku which comes to us from our resident Canadian expatriate, the Vicar of State College.


A bird in a tree.
Sitting there. Waiting. For what?
Grouse masaman, eh?


Nice work, Vicar. We hope to read more of your Canuck Haiku in the future.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

haiku sequel

Canuckticut Yankee is all over it. Here's the sequel.

A 3rd boy stalks off
Them fools just will not listen!
Lemiuex is the man

Oh yes, haiku fame is yours.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

guest haiku

This one was posted yesterday as a comment. My thanks to the Canuckticut Yankee!

Two boys argue loud
Gretsky or Messier?
National debate

Please send you canuck haiku to frankzappai@yahoo.com and win haiku fame and fortune. Well, fame anyway. Fifteen minutes worth at least. Well, ten anyway . . . hosers.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

new album today
Bare Naked Ladies Are Me
great day for Canucks

Friday, September 08, 2006

harvest moon -
listening to Neil Young
on my iPod

Monday, June 19, 2006

Edmonton Oilers
one win away from the cup
good luck tonight boys

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

gouda commercial
Canada's finest cheeses
a smoky fragrance

Sunday, June 04, 2006

it's black fly season
Canada's national bird
hunt the spring black fly

Hunt the spring black fly info here.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

waxing nostalgic
for the Montreal Expos
Canada's ball club

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Moncton UFOs
the truth is out there some where
it's a trash can lid

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Quebec teens surfing
the glow of a monitor
lights up their faces

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Bare Naked Ladies
in the studio these days
for a fall release

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

March lamb time
up north you can be sure
snow is melting

Friday, March 24, 2006

it's the weekend, eh?
time to pick up a two four
of Molsons. beauty

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

migrant birds up north
catching avian flu, eh?
never liked chicken

Friday, March 17, 2006

the Shamrock Summit
Quebec, 1985
Reagan Mulroney

Thursday, March 09, 2006

all day
Canada geese
flying north

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Guest Haiku from the Satanic One Himself

In our never ending, global, 24/7 quest to bring you only the finest Canadian haiku being written on the planet today, it is our pleasure to present the work of the inimitable JDiego, world-renowned haiku slugfest judge and author-proprietor of Haikus from Hell, home of "the haiku you don't take home to mother."

Without further ado, here is JDiego:

Canada haiku

long porous border
sneaky Yanks cross in the night
look for low wage work


proud of mosquitoes
large enough to carry off
pomeranians


just two words: Neil Young
two more: Robertson Davies
oh yeah: back bacon


You can almost here the Canadian prairie winds a blowin' . . . . in these few short lines Mr. Diego has captured the Magnitude That Is Canada, moving with equal grace from the socio-economics of immigration, to the wildness and danger that is the real Great White North, particularly for small furry lap dogs. And then the coup de grace, an ode to the cultural contributions that Canadyland has made to . . . the world.

breath taking. absolute beauty, eh? Canadian haiku virtuosity unequaled in the anals of Canadian haiku. While this hoser advises us that he is in fact a Yank, don't you believe it, eh? he's got maple red running in his veins just like the rest of us.

beauty way to go, JDiego. beauty.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

the five cent war

found this one tonight while surfing the web researching "candy wrappers" . . . and no, not Canady gangsta rappers. here's a 'ku in honor of the Canadian kids who made a bold stand for truth, justice, and the Canadian way during the 1947 five cent candy war.

don't be a sucker
Communist organizers?
don't buy 8 cent bars

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

poutine with gravy
fresh curds make for squeaky teeth
a hell of a mess

Monday, February 27, 2006

Jacques Cartier called
Canada "God's gift to Cain" -
you can look it up

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Make Way for Noddy
which face looks the happiest?
kids really love it

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Review: Make Way for Noddy

The lads over at 24 Hours of TV have provided us with a public service. See their review of Make Way for Noddy here.

Hockey aside, we're doin' good!

Here's the summary to date from TSN:
With medal victories by Cindy Klassen and Clara Hughes in the women's 5,000 meteres, Canada's record-setting medal count now stands at 22 with more chances at the podium to come. TSN.ca has all your coverage right through to the closing ceremonies. More...
so we got THAT goin' for us.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Frank & Gord, Part Deux

Toque Wearing Beaver
Speeching Stone Faced Mute Moppets
Gord’s Our Best Friend, Too.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Frank & Gord

Cool Canuck Beavers
Stealing Show in Torino
Gord Yakking Hairballs


Check in the links for more fun with Frank and Gord!

It's cold up north!

Once again, our thanks to the folks at Bad Haiku for helping us out. This one is by "Uncivilized" of Baffin Island:

Nobody told me
the damned ice age was over.
Bloody freezing here.

thanks Uncivilized!
canola oil
from Canada and oil
learn something new, eh?

Canadian hockey haiku

Canada hockey
disappointing in defeat
I say . . . ahh, puck it.

Men's team goes down to defeat

Well, it's taken me 24 hours to recover. Our boys lost yesterday. Here's the final update from HockeyCanada:

MEN’S OLYMPIC TEAM

CANADA 0 - RUSSIA 2 - FINAL

CANADA ELIMINATED FROM OLYMPICS IN 2-0 NAILBITER AGAINST RUSSIA

Many forecasters had Canada and Russia facing off for gold at the 2006 Olympic Winter Games. Wednesday’s quarter-final game did have the feel of a gold medal game. » more

Not sure how much of a nail biter it really was, but hey, you win some, you lose some. I guess.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Next up: Russia!

Next game is today, 2:30 Eastern:
NEXT GAME: CANADA - RUSSIA
Wed. Feb. 22/06 | Playoff Round
Canada plays Russia in the quarterfinals Wednesday in a game that can be tracked on HockeyCanada at 2:30pm et/11:30am pt.


As an aside, apparently Canadian Hockey reports have triggered Blogger's spam-prevention robots--either that or there is a nefarious Russian plot afoot. Here is the message from Blogger:

WARNING

This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.

Save your post as a draft or click here for more about what's going on and how to get your blog unlocked.

We have taken steps to get Canadian Haiku, eh? unblocked from Blogger, but it may not happen until after game time. Our apologies for any inconvenience. Clearly Blogger.com is not a fan of Canadian Hockey.

3:00 pm update: we're back in business. Check HockeyCanada for minute to minute updates.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

We're still in this thing . . .

The men won and regained some scoring momentum . . . courtesy of HockeyCanada:

MEN’S OLYMPIC TEAM

CANADA HOLDS OFF CZECHS TO FINISH THIRD GROUP A » more

CANADA 3 - CZECH REP 2 | FINAL

NEXT GAME: CANADA
Wednesday, Feb. 22, 2006
Playoff Round

TBD (local) / TBD (ET)

Canada will face the team that finishes 2nd in Group B, which will either be Russia, Slovakia, or Sweden. Stay tuned to Canadian Haiku for updates.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Canadian Women's Team Victorious!

Women's team won, beating Sweden 4-1. The gold is ours! From HockeyCanada:

WOMEN’S OLYMPIC TEAM

CANADA’S WOMEN’S OLYMPIC HOCKEY TEAM IS SUCCESSFUL IN DEFENDING OLYMPIC GOLD
CANADA ALSO CLAIMS #1 WORLD IIHF RANKING
» more

CANADA 4 - SWEDEN 1
Final


So we've got THAT going for us.
thanks to Brady of Toronto at Bad Haiku for today's Canadian Haiku selection.

Heil is five foot three
Weighs one fifty three. Won gold!
All downhill from here

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Our boys lose to Finland

Our boys lost again today to Finland, 2-0. Long uphill road from here, eh?

MEN’S OLYMPIC TEAM

CANADA SUFFERS ANOTHER SETBACK
IN OLYMPIC MEN’S HOCKEY

One of the last times that Canada and Finland faced off in a major hockey event was almost a year and a half ago, in the 2004 World Cup of Hockey final. » more

NEXT GAME: CANADA - CZECH REP
Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006 | Round Robin
4:30 pm (local) / 10:30 am (ET)

We'll keep you updated on all the hockey news you need to know. Next up: the women's team guns for the gold!
boreal forest
owls maniacally hooting
natural resource

Saturday, February 18, 2006

bare naked ladies
be my yoko ono, eh?
Canada's music

Well, at least the gals won!

Here's last night's results for the women's team (we won't mention the men):

WOMEN’S OLYMPIC TEAM

CANADA TO DEFEND OLYMPIC GOLD
CANADA - SWEDEN
Monday, February 20, 2006
20:30 (local) / 14:30 (ET)

CANADA 6 - FINLAND 0
Semi-Final | Friday, Feb. 17, 2006


Well, okay, so the men lost 2-0 today to the Swiss. Make something of it, knob.